Warning the following stories are very graphic and may cause triggers.
These nightmares are significant to me because I never remember dream but I remember these to the very last detail…
Its really incredible how you mind can create these fictional stories or nightmares that can hurt you physically mentally, it truly is mind over matter. Who better to know your fears or how to hurt you the most then you yourself…
It had to be the absolutely the worst dream ever- aside from the one similar to it- Brian and I were walking down some remote street on a worn cracked side walk- I was telling Brian that he had been right Dave was a creeper. Dave’s voice came out of no where “Hey Gorgeous” “ I missed you” then Dave jumped onto Brian Cussing at him and then and stabbing him as he did, then he stood “ I never like you with him” I made a move to run but he wouldn’t have it, he was on top of me. As he had been so many times before, except I had changed I dint want it. Out of no where we were in a car such a familiar place for us to have done it, instead of leather seats cushioning everything felt rock hard a cold metal death trap, a prison. He acted like he always had, same as before I knew his secrets.
“ I love you- I want you so bad Carrie- you feel so good” harder thrusts, sweating he pulled back with a slightly sinicle smile. He kissed my lips gently “ I love you babe” then he killed me same as he had done to Brian. My cries were muffled with the sounds of his cursing , interrupted by mutters of “ gorgeous”.
I woke up sick to my stomach that was the same night I had found all of this out the night it all came to light. I couldn’t sleep at all after that, from 1 am till 6am I cried silently , angrily and non stop
So I though I had gotten over it the calmness made me blind, I had another dream not as gruesome as the first but some how it hurt worse.
I was in a car I had no Idea who was driving and it seemed like no one else was there, a white car drove next to us the only to cars on the road. Inside the other car I saw Dave, as if nothing was wrong no case, no jail time nothing he wore a black shirt with purple pinstripes and sunglasses what had been my favorite outfit of his, some how it fit so perfectly in my mind. In the passenger seat was a girl about 3 or 4 years old dark brown hair and blue eyes like his. I heard myself screaming “ he has a kid” tears of panic streamed down my face burning as they fell this was my worst fear realized. I had contributed to ruining his life so what he in some ways deserved it , but a child would never fully understand what had happened.
The dream caused my body to ache I woke from it cheeks wet I had been crying a real response to the fake story my mind had created to hurt me. Once again I lay awake crying till 6 that morning the rest of the day I felt nothing but numb aching pain.